


Choices Made

by Dellessa



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:17:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dellessa/pseuds/Dellessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Series of Blurr/Shockwave fics and ficlets set in the Transformers Multiverse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [accidental_zombie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidental_zombie/gifts).



**Title:** Bittersweet  
 **Continuity:** TF:Animated  
 **Characters:** Blurr and Longarm Prime | Shockwave  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Content advice:** Memory loss, Mentions of violence.  
 **Prompt(s):** Yuletide- Blurr and Longarm Prime | Shockwave- “I'd like to read a fic that takes place after the end of the cartoon, where Blurr is finally fixed and Shockwave has been arrested. One thing I'd like to read is where the Autobots erase the Decepticon coding from Shockwave and give him a chance to lead a life as a free bot, but without his Decepticon loyalties or memories. (It doesn't make him an Autobot, but basically he still has all his core programming/personality/etc and can decide if he wants to be an upstanding citizen -- I know it's a bit dubious and you can write it like that if you want). So good!Shockwave eventually runs into uninformed!Blurr and falls for him, but can't understand why Blurr either attacks or runs from him. Eventually either Shockwave decides he wants his memories back and then tries to somehow make things up to Blurr or perhaps he doesn't want his memories back and Blurr comes around to understanding he isn't the same Shockwave as before. After the hurt/comfort I'd like to see them together, consensually."

OoOoOoOo

The room was white. It was the first thing Shockwave noticed as he came online. There were medics surrounding him, murmuring. He couldn't make out the words at first. He tried to access his memory to see what had happened, why he was there, and it was like hitting a wall. There was...just...nothing. 

He knew who he was. He knew he was on Cybertron, and something had happened to him, but the rest...a mystery. 

The medic was working on him again, and finally he could hear again. “Your audial sensors are back online. Can you understand me?” 

Shockwave nodded, feeling numb. “What happened?” 

“You will be given the data files necessary to understand your situation soon. There will be a mental health officer assigned to see to your well being, and assist you into acclimating yourself into Cybertronian culture. It has been deemed you have skills useful to the empire and they will be used.”

Shockwave’s optic offlined for a long moment. None of this made any sense to him. There was an aching emptiness. A lack of purpose swelling up inside of him. 

“Rest now, we still have work to do,” the medic said, and the world went black once more.

OoOoOoOo

They put him to work in a data depository, a library. It is calming work. He spends his days organizing the datapads the send him. Putting things in order. Collecting data from the streams and packaging it in datapads to be distributed into the collection. It is dull work, but it keeps him occupied. His processor has time to wander. They tell him, or rather Rung tells him, that eventually if he wants his old memories returned he could do that.

He thinks about it a lot. Is not sure he wants to know what happened. Not until he sees the blue mech. He is scarred. Long welds run across his lithe frame. 

“What are you doing here? Why are you here?” the blue mech shrieks, scrambling back, away from him. It makes Shockwave’s spark ache. 

“Do I know you?” 

The blue mech runs away rather than answers. 

Shockwave thinks his spark is going to break. He has never seen so much fear in a mech, and it is directed at him. He’s done something. He had to have done something, but for the spark of him he does not know what it could be. 

He isn’t that bot anymore, and he is sure at that point that he never wants to be.

OoOoOoOo

It takes him a decacycle, but he tracks down the blue mech. His name is Blurr and he works as a courier. It took him a decacycle longer to actually actually corner him.

“What do you want?” Blurr asked, his voice antagonistic. Scared. The fear echoed through the mech’s field when Shockwave was able to get close enough. He wanted to reach out. To touch him. He wasn’t even sure what drew him to the mech, but something did and he couldn’t fight it.

“I want to understand. Why do you fear me?” 

“You don’t know?” the mech snapped, he slapped at Shockwave, his claws bit deeply, but the larger mech did not fight back, and eventually Blurr calmed. “You really don’t know? Do you?” 

Shockwave could only shake his head dumbly. “I knew you before...didn’t I?” 

“You betrayed me. You tried to kill me,” Blurr said, motioning at the long weld lines running across his chassis. They were thick and deep. So much so that it was doubtful they would ever completely disappear.  
Shock rippled through Shockwave, followed closely by despair. What sort of monster was he to do this? “I---I am sorry. I know nothing I can say will make up for this, but I am sorry.” 

Blurr’s optics narrowed, but he nodded. “What are you going to do about it?” 

“I don’t know. I will find a way.” 

Blurr’s optics narrowed, “I wouldn’t count on it. Once a Con, always a Con.” 

Shockwave tilted his helm, “I don’t understand.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Isn’t there something---” 

“Just leave me alone,” Blurr snapped, storming out.

OoOoOoOo

Blurr’s words had hurt. The way he pulled away and did his best to avoid Shockwave. The packages of goodies and the datapads were returned unopened. He did not know how to make it up to the mech, whatever it was that he had done. Blurr had said he had tried to kill him. He couldn't imagine that is was that easy. Nor could he imagine any situation that he would want to hurt that mech, not with the way his spark fluttered and pulsed wildly whenever he was near.

 

He did not want to know what had happened before, but he looked through the records anyway, and fretted terribly when he found the case file on the incident with Blurr. he trembled as he read through it, and thanked Primus that the mech had somehow survived. 

He was never going to forgive him though. 

Shockwave could not fathom any situation where he would...

but he still tried.

OoOoOoOo

Blurr watched him while he worked. The mech didn’t approach him, but he didn’t leave either. He stayed there until Shockwave’s shift ended.

“I don’t know what you think you are doing...” 

“I’m not doing anything Blurr. I just---I just want to make it up to you. I have wronged you. I know I do not deserve forgiveness. I’m not worth of it, but I will still try.” 

Blurr tilted his helm to the side, frowning. “I trusted you before. Look where it got me. Nearly offlined and dumped into the trash.” 

Shockwave ducked his helm, the harsh words hurt, and that they were true---well that hurt more. “You did, and I will try to make it up to you until my spark snuffs out. until Cybertron crumbles to dust around us.” 

Blurr frowned, and then nodded. “Perhaps. One day...” 

Shockwave could not help but hope. “One day. You will see that I have changed.” 

Blurr nodded, and Shockwave took it for the challenge that it was.


	2. A Lifetime of Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Blurr looked down at the mech curled on the floor. He looked pitiful. His armour dull and scuffed. The single otic looked up at him, dim even in the dim light of the little room Blurr dismissed him to."

**Title:** A Lifetime of Regrets  
 **Continuity:** TF:Animated  
 **Characters:** Blurr and Longarm Prime | Shockwave  
 **Rating:** M  
 **Content advice:** Mentions of Violence. Abuse. Slavery.  
 **Prompt(s):** Yuletide- Blurr and Longarm Prime | Shockwave- “If you want to go darker, I'd like to see Shockwave being given into the "custody" of Blurr, with the implication that he can do whatever he wants to his almost murderer. You can make Blurr go really dark or you can have him change his mind after awhile, since he finds that it isn't really making him feel any better, and instead he and Shockwave really talk and are able to start working things out between them.”

OoOoOoOo

Blurr looked down at the mech curled on the floor. He looked pitiful. His armour dull and scuffed. The single otic looked up at him, dim even in the dim light of the little room Blurr dismissed him to. 

Blurr moved closer, and Shockwave flinched away, his lanky frame curling in on itself. It gave Blurr pause. The mech feared him, cringing back. The thought made Blurr stare and cringe inwardly. Shockwave had been a proud mech. A warrior to be reckoned with. Clever. Cunning.

And he had been reduced to this quivering mass in the vorn that Blurr had had control of him. There was a disconnect in Blurr’s Processor when he considered it. Shockwave should not act like this. Longarm never did. 

Longarm. 

The name made Blurr’s spark hurt. He had loved that mech and thought he had felt the same in kind. It had all be a lie. Hadn’t it?

“Get up.”

Shockwave stared, and did not move. It was like he did not understand, and perhaps he did not. Blurr had kept him locked away for so long. 

“Get up,” Blurr said again, frowning when Shockwave did not stir. He finally moved closer, noting the abrasions, the patches of rust. He had not noted any of them before. He had not wanted to though, and now that he had seen them he could NOT unsee them. It left his feeling...ashamed. 

Shockwave had tried to kill him, but he had not drawn it out. He had not tortured Blurr for a vorn. It had not made him feel better. It had not lessened the hurt or betrayal he felt. 

“Please,” Blurr finally added, bending down he put a hand on Shockwave’s shoulder. “Come with me.” 

A whine left Shockwave’s vocalizer, “Master?” 

Blurr twitched, “D-don’t call me that.” 

Shockwave recoiled, curling in tightly on himself as if expecting a beating. Blurr flinched himself. This was not making him feel any better. It was not fixing him. No, those scars were not disappearing. He had hurt Shockwave as much as Shockwave had hurt him. Enough was enough. He held out his hand, “Please?” 

It was nearly a breem before Shockwave finally uncurled, and another before he finally took Blurr’s hand.

OoOoOoOo

Blurr led the mech out of the small room, and into the hallway. He staggered, his steps unsteady. He looked worse in the bright light of Blurr’s living area. “Sit.” 

Shockwave fell onto the couch more than sat on it. He watched Blurr with a dim optic as the blue mech when to the fuel dispenser and brought back a cube of medical grade energon. Blurr had only given him low grade before, and little enough of that. 

“Are you finally going to end it?” Shockwave croaked. 

Blurr gave him a horrified look, “No. No--I wouldn’t. I can’t!”

“But you want to. Just do it. I’m so tired.” 

“No...I’m not---I’m not going to offline you. It is against the rules, and...it wouldn’t help either of us.” 

“It would be far kinder than what you have done to me,” Shockwave said balefully.

“We have both---neither of us have been kind to the other,” Blurr said, looking down at his hands, “I thought it would help. You hurt me. You betrayed me. But...hurting you back...it’s not...it didn’t help. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Shockwave stared, and then let his optic close. “I don’t know what you want of me.”

“I---I don’t know what I want either, but I do know we cannot go on like we have been.”

Shockwave nodded, and looked down at the cube in his hand. He took a slow drink of it and gave Blurr a considering look. “We can’t,” Shockwave said slowly. He didn’t trust the mech yet, but it was a start.


	3. Reverent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt thanks to Ultharkitty. <3

TFA Shockwave/Blurr, reverence

Shockwave had regretted his actions nearly immediately. It had been difficult to fish out Blurr’s cubed form from the incinerator, but he had managed. Oddly it also made things easier. He tucked the mech away in his subspace and slipped out of the Autobot’s compound. There was no struggling, no sharp words. The blue mech accompanied him back to Decepticon airspace without a single argument, not that he could have made one at that point. 

He did not take the cube from his subspace until he reach Chaar, and in truth would not have even then if he was not intent on having the mech put back together. Having Blurr’s spark so close to his own was a comfort he was reluctant to give up. 

Scalpel was not impressed. He squinted his little optics and clicked angrily, “Vat vere you thinking?” The medic snapped before summoning his colleague. Hook was even less impressed, but they got to work all the same. 

Apparently it wasn’t worth the effort to recover Blurr’s frame. Here was little enough of it left. Eventually they brought out a new protoform, one set to Blurr’s previous specifications...mostly. The spark transfer when well, and when Blurr finally came out of stasis there was a look of shock in his new ruby coloured optics. 

Shockwave’s lips curled into a pleased smile. He would make it work this time.


End file.
